A lesson in love...

I'm sure most of you have heard the term, "love language'. But you may not know exactly what it means. So if you don't mind, I'll take a minute and explain.

Understanding love language is HUGE in having a functional family. I think that a lot of controversy and miscommunication would be avoided if everyone in each family understood what "love" meant to each person in that family.

So here goes... Love Language 101.

We'll start by getting a little personal. My love language is WORDS OF AFFIRMATION. What does that mean? I love compliments. I don't just want to hear them, I need to hear them. I want to hear those three little words, "I love you." Tell me why you love me, tell me why you think I'm a good mom, tell me that you think I'm beautiful. And at the same time, if you yell at me or criticize me - It leaves me broken.

Next on the List, PHYSICAL TOUCH. This language belongs to my little Jet man. He loves giving hugs and kisses. He's 40lbs, but he still longs to be carried. He's quick to grab a hand when you're walking with him. He'll come up to me and just put his hand in my lap. One thing to remember with this language is that "spanking" can be devastating. So that is something that we try not to do with Jet. And withholding physical touch from your spouse can leave them feeling lonely and unloved.  And on a side note, Jared also speaks this language.

QUALITY TIME is up next. This one goes to Will. He is constantly asking us to play with him. He doesn't care what we do; watch a movie, play a game, play cars, go outside, whatever - doesn't matter to him as long as he's with you. He loves to just sit and talk. And if he thinks you're distracted, he's quick to add, "you're ignoring me." And that really hurts him.

RECEIVING GIFTS is number 4. I don't think that anyone in my immediate family falls into this category. This particular love language says that person loves the kindness and thoughtfulness behind gifts. They aren't materialistic because the gifts don't need to grand. They simply enjoy that they were remembered and thought of. So, if this is your child or spouse - don't forget a birthday or anniversary because that would crush them.

And lastly we have, ACTS OF SERVICE. This person likes to hear, "Let me do that for you." If you're a child you feel loved when mom goes and gets a drink for you or picks up your room. If you're a wife nothing says I love you more than running the vacuum. Or if you're a husband, you know you're loved when your wife has dinner ready for you when you get home. Please, please, please don't make your significant other feel like you're adding to their work load if they speak this language. And always be very willing to lend a helping hand.

So what language are you?

You may have noticed that I didn't add Anabella to this list - she's too young to tell at this point. If I had to guess - I'd say she's receiving gifts.

One thing that needs to be emphasized is that in order to feel loved, people need to speak to you in your language. On that same note, in order to make those around you feel loved, you need to speak their language. And quite frankly, nothing could be more foreign and it takes conscious effort to make that happen.

I'm quick to tell Jared I love him and to tell my children how important they are and how beautiful I think they are - because that's my language. It flows easily out of me. It's not natural for me to give a rub on the back or to give Will my undivided attention when I have 100 million other things that I need to do. I struggle with speaking other languages. However, I know that in order for my family to know deep down how much I love and adore them - I have to communicate that to them through their own language.

To discover your love language go here:
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/

Confident of His Goodness,
Lela