I think in the posts to come if you're able to understand our family dynamic via birth order we may make a little more sense.
I little while back I studied Dr. Kevin Leman's book The Birth Order Book with some good friends. And suddenly, I had complete understanding of why I drive myself crazy the majority of the time.
We have a variety of birth orders in our family and it has been so interesting to see how we all fit together.
My Surprised Face
Let's start with me... I am a default lonely only. I do have a sister that is 11 years older than me but whenever you have at least 6 years in between siblings, birth order starts over. Lonely Onlies are a unique breed. Let me explain...
We are the Super First Born. All the qualities of a first born plus some.
We are little adults by age seven, very thorough, deliberate, high achievers, self-motivated, fearful, cautious, voracious readers, black-and-white thinkers, talk in extremes, can't bear to fail, have very high expectations for self as well as others and more comfortable with people who are older or younger.
I was a planned only child. Parents who plan for only one child will parent differently than parents who desire more children but can't have them for whatever reason. Because I was a planned, my parents expected me to be mature, responsible as well as dependable.
I envy people who are spontaneous and that don't have anxiety attacks if the house is dirty for longer than 24 hours. I worry constantly about my to-do list and how I am going to get everything done. My expectations for my children are so high I worry that I'm not allowing them to be independent thinkers and the list goes on and on and on. Seriously... It's ridiculous and extreme.
In other words... I'm difficult and I know it. I can't help it. It takes someone very special to love me and that is why I am so glad that I'm married to a second born. They are a little easier to get along with.
Aquarium Trip 2010
Jared is the second born boy in his family as well as the baby. So here is what Jared's birth order says about him.
Second borns are mediators, compromising, diplomatic, avoid conflict, independent, loyal to peers, many friends, mavericks, secretive and unspoiled. I think that Jared has most of these qualities to some degree. Jared is also the baby, but I don't think he has all the qualities of a baby. He is engaging and affectionate. But the second born role defines Jared more than the baby role.
Will's Surprised Face
Now let's talk about Will. He is a classic first born if ever there was a classic first born.
Will is a perfectionist, reliable, conscientious, a list maker, well organized, hard driving, a natural leader, critical, serious, scholarly, logical, doesn't like surprises and a techie. That sums Will up completely. People say he's a little Jared but I think he may be a little more like me than they realize.
Always Smiling
Okay, let's move on to our classic middle child. Jet.
We've already discussed how he is the exact opposite of Will. He does have some of the same second born qualities as Jared. One good thing that Jet has is, all research shows that middle children do not have as many hang-ups or problems as firstborns or only children. Middle born children are loyal and tend to have a lot of friends, far more than first borns.
Ani's First Day of School
Last but certainly not least, our Ani (Jared has decided, that Ani is superior to Annie).
Anabella is our first born daughter, so she will have some of the same characteristics as a first born but it looks like "the baby" in her is dominant.
Babies are manipulative, charming, blame others, attention seekers, tenacious, people persons, natural salespersons, precocious, engaging, affectionate and love surprises.
Hopefully, this will help you understand how our family works a little better. The Birth Order Book is a great read and eye opening to why some people act the way they do. I would highly recommend it to anyone.
Confident of His Goodness,
Lela
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