Getting Old.

  Phillipians 2:2

Then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.

Reluctantly, I have to start with this. When I was young, I was slightly boy crazy. I know, I know... hard to believe. Praying my daughter doesn't follow in those footsteps.


However, in 1997 I found the love of my life and that was all she wrote. It's weird that I was only 15 at the time. It kinda freaks me out thinking back to that time. I was only a baby, but I sure felt like a little adult. Probably goes back to my birth order.


I'll try not to get too sappy here. I have truly been in love with Jared for nearly 15 years now - almost half of my lifetime, crazy. He is my everything. He is my best friend. I may have started loving him 15 years ago, but my love for him grows everyday and I'm more in love with him now than I ever have been.


At the young age of 15 I knew that he would be an awesome husband and an amazing dad. My friends thought I was crazy and I didn't dare tell my parents - my dad would have literally flown through the roof - but I knew after a month of dating him that I would never leave his side. I wanted to marry him.


Some of you will probably know the song that I posted below. Jared sang this the night that we got engaged. It is our anthem. We will grow old together.


<iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/7CYI5bKZMes" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Our First Dance Together. 

Dewey Elementary School Gym

February, 1998

 A year or so later.

I think this was Jared's Senior Year, 1999.

We had several dances a year and I wore the same dress to both dances usually - I know total fashion no-no.

But I think this was Jared's Prom.

My Junior Prom, 1999.

This was favorite picture of us out of all our dances.

May 25, 2002.

Our Wedding.

The absolute happiest day of my entire life.

So Jared, Thank you for being all that a very young and naive 15-year-old girl thought that you would be and more. I love you more than you could possibly ever know.

Confident of His Goodness,

Lela

Our Order...

On a lighter note...

I think in the posts to come if you're able to understand our family dynamic via birth order we may make a little more sense.

I little while back I studied Dr. Kevin Leman's book The Birth Order Book with some good friends. And suddenly, I had complete understanding of why I drive myself crazy the majority of the time.

We have a variety of birth orders in our family and it has been so interesting to see how we all fit together.

My Surprised Face

Let's start with me... I am a default lonely only. I do have a sister that is 11 years older than me but whenever you have at least 6 years in between siblings, birth order starts over.  Lonely Onlies are a unique breed. Let me explain...

We are the Super First Born. All the qualities of a first born plus some.

We are little adults by age seven, very thorough, deliberate, high achievers, self-motivated, fearful, cautious, voracious readers, black-and-white thinkers, talk in extremes, can't bear to fail, have very high expectations for self as well as others and more comfortable with people who are older or younger.

I was a planned only child. Parents who plan for only one child will parent differently than parents who desire more children but can't have them for whatever reason. Because I was a planned, my parents expected me to be mature, responsible as well as dependable.

I envy people who are spontaneous and that don't have anxiety attacks if the house is dirty for longer than 24 hours. I worry constantly about my to-do list and how I am going to get everything done. My expectations for my children are so high I worry that I'm not allowing them to be independent thinkers and the list goes on and on and on. Seriously... It's ridiculous and extreme.

In other words... I'm difficult and I know it. I can't help it. It takes someone very special to love me and that is why I am so glad that I'm married to a second born. They are a little easier to get along with.

Aquarium Trip 2010

Jared is the second born boy in his family as well as the baby. So here is what Jared's birth order says about him.

Second borns are mediators, compromising, diplomatic, avoid conflict, independent, loyal to peers, many friends, mavericks, secretive and unspoiled. I think that Jared has most of these qualities to some degree. Jared is also the baby, but I don't think he has all the qualities of a baby. He is engaging and affectionate. But the second born role defines Jared more than the baby role.

Will's Surprised Face

Now let's talk about Will. He is a classic first born if ever there was a classic first born.

Will is a perfectionist, reliable, conscientious, a list maker, well organized, hard driving, a natural leader, critical, serious, scholarly, logical, doesn't like surprises and a techie. That sums Will up completely. People say he's a little Jared but I think he may be a little more like me than they realize.

Always Smiling

Okay, let's move on to our classic middle child. Jet.

We've already discussed how he is the exact opposite of Will. He does have some of the same second born qualities as Jared. One good thing that Jet has is, all research shows that middle children do not have as many hang-ups or problems as firstborns or only children. Middle born children are loyal and tend to have a lot of friends, far more than first borns.

Ani's First Day of School

Last but certainly not least, our Ani (Jared has decided, that Ani is superior to Annie).

Anabella is our first born daughter, so she will have some of the same characteristics as a first born but it looks like "the baby" in her is dominant.

Babies are manipulative, charming, blame others, attention seekers, tenacious, people persons, natural salespersons, precocious, engaging, affectionate and love surprises.

Hopefully, this will help you understand how our family works a little better. The Birth Order Book is a great read and eye opening to why some people act the way they do. I would highly recommend it to anyone.

Confident of His Goodness,
Lela

Holland

 A little Deeper....

Our family has been Blessed with a child with a disability, Jet. 

 Snow Day, 2011

Jet was born with a cleft palate. He has around a 2 year developmental delay which is most prevalent in his speech.  He has a chromosome duplication, Xp22.31. He has been diagnosed with cerebral palsy and a hearing loss. Jet should be getting hearing aids this week.

When you have a special needs child - you have to mourn the loss of the "perfect" child that you were hoping and praying for - and then you move on. That doesn't mean that there still aren't days that you grieve for the things that your child is missing out on and how your heart breaks every time you watch them struggle. But having a child that is "different" is extraordinary. And to be perfectly honest, Jesus is still teaching me to find the Joy in this journey. Because I have days that are filled with tears, depression, worry and fear.

Valentines Day, 2011

Jet has taught us so much about who Jesus is. How faithful He is. How loving He is. How consistent the Holy Spirit is - every time you ask for Him. The Greatest thing that Jet has taught me is that despite the rain and clouds and sometimes tornadoes, God is Good.

Welcome To Holland
by
Emily Perl Kingsley

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy.  You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum.  The Michelangelo David.  The gondolas in Venice.  You may learn some handy phrases in Italian.  It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives.  You pack your bags and off you go.  Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy!  I'm supposed to be in Italy.  All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan.  They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease.  It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language.  And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place.  It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy.  But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips.  Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there.  And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." 

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever  go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Confident of His Goodness,
Lela

Introductions.

Psalm 27:13, NLV

Yet I am confident I will see the Goodness of the Lord while I am in the land of the living.

It's hard to know exactly how to start a blog. Honestly, I'm not even sure why I'm writing it. Basically, it was one of those thoughts that just wouldn't go away - maybe it was the Holy Spirit or maybe it was just my neurotic personality that can't let some things go. But for whatever reason, here it goes.

Please meet Jared. My husband of 9 years. He is a very loving and warm husband and daddy. All of us are profoundly blessed to have him. He works his 8 to 5 job and then runs straight home to be with his family. He is loyal, hard working, driven and - if I do say so myself - GORGEOUS!!! He is a classic secondborn with a hint of baby. Oh and one more very important note - He's goofy and funny and keeps me laughing. 

See I told you he was goofy.

Next, let me introduce you to my firstborn son - Will. Will is very sweet, sensitive, artistic, logical, and lastly but maybe most importantly argumentative. Oh and he's always right and he knows everything. I think that he's the best big brother in the history of all big brothers. He's very protective over his siblings and 99% of the time very nurturing to them. He has an amazing memory and is a fantastic problem solver. He is Jared Junior. He is your classic firstborn. 

He is also very silly.

Now, Please meet my firstborn Daughter. She is something else. I've been told that she's a mini-me, but I'm not sure that I believe that. She wakes up with hair as big as she is and I love that about her. She thinks that she is 5-years-old. She's as goofy as the rest of them in this group. She likes to bite and pinch when she doesn't get her way. She can throw a fit with the best of 'em. She loves to have her toenails painted, wear jewelry and carry purses. I just happen to think she's amazing. Her name is Anabella aka Annie and she is a firstborn Daughter and baby. A combination that suites her very well.

Up next is Jet. My very sweet and affectionate Secondborn Son, our middle child. Jet is the exact opposite of Will in every possible sense, which is typical for a secondborn. Will has curly hair, Jet has straight hair. Will is tall and skinny, Jet is on the short and stout side. Will is uptight and a worrier, Jet is laid back and content. Jet is happy 95% of the time. He smiles and laughs all the time. He's content and a joy to be around. I'll talk more about Jet in my next post.

To complete our chaotic household, we have 2 Senior Citizen Pugs, Loti and Lexi, and our "Holy Spirit" kitty, Zeke. Our house wouldn't be the same without them. The pugs are dumb and Zeke's poop stinks really bad, but we love them and they're here to stay.

Now I guess it's my turn. I'm a mom and I'm consumed by it. It's just the season that I'm in right now. I have 3 small children and they are my world. My days are filled with trying to keep my house picked up - out of respect for my adoring husband's sanity - therapy, potty training and blah, blah, blah. Every other stay-at-home mom's to do list. I am a default only child, because my sister is 11-years older than me - and that pretty much sums me up. I'm not a precious jewel - but a planned lonely only. We'll talk more about birth order in another post. Just to keep things balanced - here is a picture of me.

Thank you for taking the time to read. Now that we've been properly introduced, for my next post I'll dig a little deeper.

Confident of His Goodness,

Lela