A lesson in love...

I'm sure most of you have heard the term, "love language'. But you may not know exactly what it means. So if you don't mind, I'll take a minute and explain.

Understanding love language is HUGE in having a functional family. I think that a lot of controversy and miscommunication would be avoided if everyone in each family understood what "love" meant to each person in that family.

So here goes... Love Language 101.

We'll start by getting a little personal. My love language is WORDS OF AFFIRMATION. What does that mean? I love compliments. I don't just want to hear them, I need to hear them. I want to hear those three little words, "I love you." Tell me why you love me, tell me why you think I'm a good mom, tell me that you think I'm beautiful. And at the same time, if you yell at me or criticize me - It leaves me broken.

Next on the List, PHYSICAL TOUCH. This language belongs to my little Jet man. He loves giving hugs and kisses. He's 40lbs, but he still longs to be carried. He's quick to grab a hand when you're walking with him. He'll come up to me and just put his hand in my lap. One thing to remember with this language is that "spanking" can be devastating. So that is something that we try not to do with Jet. And withholding physical touch from your spouse can leave them feeling lonely and unloved.  And on a side note, Jared also speaks this language.

QUALITY TIME is up next. This one goes to Will. He is constantly asking us to play with him. He doesn't care what we do; watch a movie, play a game, play cars, go outside, whatever - doesn't matter to him as long as he's with you. He loves to just sit and talk. And if he thinks you're distracted, he's quick to add, "you're ignoring me." And that really hurts him.

RECEIVING GIFTS is number 4. I don't think that anyone in my immediate family falls into this category. This particular love language says that person loves the kindness and thoughtfulness behind gifts. They aren't materialistic because the gifts don't need to grand. They simply enjoy that they were remembered and thought of. So, if this is your child or spouse - don't forget a birthday or anniversary because that would crush them.

And lastly we have, ACTS OF SERVICE. This person likes to hear, "Let me do that for you." If you're a child you feel loved when mom goes and gets a drink for you or picks up your room. If you're a wife nothing says I love you more than running the vacuum. Or if you're a husband, you know you're loved when your wife has dinner ready for you when you get home. Please, please, please don't make your significant other feel like you're adding to their work load if they speak this language. And always be very willing to lend a helping hand.

So what language are you?

You may have noticed that I didn't add Anabella to this list - she's too young to tell at this point. If I had to guess - I'd say she's receiving gifts.

One thing that needs to be emphasized is that in order to feel loved, people need to speak to you in your language. On that same note, in order to make those around you feel loved, you need to speak their language. And quite frankly, nothing could be more foreign and it takes conscious effort to make that happen.

I'm quick to tell Jared I love him and to tell my children how important they are and how beautiful I think they are - because that's my language. It flows easily out of me. It's not natural for me to give a rub on the back or to give Will my undivided attention when I have 100 million other things that I need to do. I struggle with speaking other languages. However, I know that in order for my family to know deep down how much I love and adore them - I have to communicate that to them through their own language.

To discover your love language go here:
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/

Confident of His Goodness,
Lela

Two Word Wednesday

Creative Play

In My Next 30 Years...

Wow... I turned 30 yesterday. Crazy.

It's really weird to think that I'm 30. I am entering a new era - turning a page.

The first 30 years were focused on me. I had a lot of milestones - like all people my age. My first tooth, my first day of school, my first best friend, my first date, graduating high school and college, going to my first prom, having my first baby, buying my first home and the list goes on and on.

But my next 30 years - I'll be reliving all of those things through my three beautiful children. Life becomes all about the people around me and really has little to do with me.

There are so many "firsts" in those first 30 years. At life group a couple of weeks ago we had to think of the last time we did something for the first time - all I could come up with using Resolve Spot Cleaner for the first time. Ha! It's true though.

I'm so grateful for my first 30 years and I am looking forward to my next 30 years. As Tim Mcgraw would say,

I think I’ll take a moment, celebrate my age

The ending of an era and the turning of a page
Now it’s time to focus in on where I go from here
Lord have mercy on my next thirty years.

 

I think I should mention that I take every opportunity in life to celebrate. So, when my birthday comes along I'm up for celebrating for at least a week. And since this one is a big milestone, I make even make it 2 weeks - just for funzies. 

This was my first birthday dinner, it was on Saturday night. We ordered out Dinks and Jared surprised me with a cake and ice cream. Will made up a scavenger hunt for me that led me to a book that he made me. It was a very long book filled with pictures and a heart on every page. On my actual birthday my kids gave me a pair of heart ear rings. Will was very specific that he wanted to find me a pair of ear rings that had hearts on them. Makes me heart melt. :)

On Monday my parents, whom I adore, came over and watched my kids so Jared and I could go out. They brought my kids McDonalds, and a beautiful bouquet of flowers for me and a Spa Package Gift Card to Gails. I am sooooo excited about that! 3.5 hours of pampering... Heaven. Thank you Mom and Dad.

Jared and I went to Chili's, Hobby Lobby and Starbucks. Today my gift from Jared arrived - a pair of Tom's shoes. I love them and will wear them everyday, Thank you Jared! I still have 2 more birthday dinners and a birthday breakfast with a close friend. So here's to at least one more week of celebrating!!!

Confident of His Goodness,
Lela

Claiming Joy.

Not that it needs said again - but losing Loti has been devastating. I know it sounds weird because he was a dog. But, he was an intricate part of our family. The Monday that we took Loti to the vet I started crying and  I cried until last Saturday - so almost 2 weeks. The tears just kept falling. I apologized to Jared - because I couldn't imagine living with someone that just kept crying day after day. To put it simply - I was broken hearted. I needed to reclaim Joy in my life - so what adds joy to any house.... a puppy.

I did A LOT of soul searching before adding another member to this family. Am I trying to replace Loti? Is it fair to Lexi? Have I lost my mind? Would Loti's feelings be hurt? I talked to Will about it because he and I cried together a lot during that 2 week time. He thought getting a puppy was a good idea. I asked him if thought Loti would care or be sad. He said with 100% certainty, "Loti is with Jesus and Jesus will tell him that we still love him." My heart smiled.

We made the trip to Blackwell, Oklahoma on Saturday and Will picked this little black pug out. His name is, Spike Lee III. Loti's Pug Dad was named Spike and this little guy's Pug Dad name was also Spike. (Coincidence or Devine Design, that is the question.) And Lee is of course after my dad - Love you Dad. :)

Lexi is adjusting nicely and enjoys have pug company, most of the time. He really is a good puppy and everybody has smiled and laughed a lot more since adding him in the mix. Zeke is even enjoying having him around. Anabella loves mothering him and has gone "Lenny" a few times. We have to watch her closely when she's with him. But other than that, he has been a blessing and has restored Joy in this lady's heart. Thank you for that Spike Lee III.

 And, Happy Belated Halloween.

Confident of His Goodness,
Lela

I'm His Favorite.

Are there times in life when you feel like you're His favorite? I felt like that this past week.

Losing Loti was and continues to be very hard. He was a huge personality in a small package and his presence is this home is missed so much. It is much too calm around here and I've had to sweep the kitchen floor twice this week. :)

Obviously, my heart still desires that Loti be here. However, I know that there are seasons. He gives and takes away. Ecclesiastes 3:2 says there is a time to be born and a time to die. I know that he holds all of us in his hands, including our fur-babies. There were many times that Loti could have died, but last Friday was his time to be with Jesus. And I am so thankful that we were given 8.5 years to love on him and call him our own.

I am usually extremely busy - running here and there. To this doctor appointment and that therapy session and this or that school thing. But last week was fall break and we had NOTHING scheduled. And because of that, I was able to easily take Loti to all of his appointments and stay up all night with him, without having to function at 100% the next day. And to top it all off - Will was able to say Good-Bye to Loti.

And because God is so Good - Anabella had her birthday and her birthday party on Saturday and Sunday; which was a much needed distraction for Will. I amazingly had done all of my shopping and preparing for her party and gifts several weeks ago - so I didn't even have that on my plate last week.

Losing Loti has shown me how much God takes care of us, even down to the last detail. I am so grateful for His Love and for His presence in this family.

Please continue to pray for Will. He misses Loti so much and is really struggling to find peace.

Loti - We will love you always and miss you forever.

Happy Birthday My Sweet Anabella!!!

Anabella Lee turned Two on Sunday. I can not believe how fast time is flying by. Too be honest, it kinda freaks me out.

I am pretty sure that Jet thought we were singing to him. :)

For those of you who don't know, Anabella is our Angel Baby.

God's love and favor has surrounded her from the very beginning.

When I was pregnant with Anabella, the Holy Spirit gave me a verse that I clung too... Ephesians 3:20 "Now to him who is able to do more than we could ever ask or imagine."

A lot of fear was wrapped around my pregnancy with Ani. Of course we were concerned that she would be born with a cleft and then later in the pregnancy we learned that I had Placenta Previa. A condition that puts you at risk for an enormous amount of blood loss during a c-section and a possible hysterectomy in order to stop the bleeding.

She was born in perfect health and my placenta had "mysteriously" moved up and out of the way. :) Not only that, but it was by far my easiest delivery and recovery. Anabella slept for the first two months. And was certainly my easiest baby to care for.

She has grown into a very independent, funny, and amazingly beautiful little girl with gigantic hair.

I prayed a lot during my pregnancy with Anabella, but I could have never imagined how much Joy she would bring into our home. On a daily basis I am fascinated with her and I know that we have been richly blessed.

Happy Birthday to my ornery, gorgeous, hilarious and very helpful baby girl!! We love you Ani Lee!!!

The Story of Loti

After Jared and I got married I developed an urgency to own a dog. We knew we'd have to wait atleast a year because the apartment we were living in did not allow dogs. So for that entire year I researched breeds and breeders.

We knew we would be living in a small space, so we needed a small dog and we knew that sometime within the dogs life span we would have children, so they needed to be good with kids. We decided on a Pug. I wanted a Fawn Female and Jared wanted a Black Male. So, we compromised on a Fawn Male and would name him Lotus. We broke our lease a couple of months early and moved in a much more expensive duplex in the name of pug ownership.

I found a breeder in Carney, OK - about 45 mins away from Stillwater. So, in March of 2003 we made the trip from Stillwater to Carney.

We arrived to a very dirty and unpleasant puppy mill. All of my research told me "to run the other way." We went ahead and went in and found about 8 very cute pug puppies. But, the house was a mess and stinky. We met the Mom and Dad to the puppies, Ruby Love and Spike. Spike was huge and Farted on his way out of the door. Overall, very unimpressed. We told the Breeder thank you and were headed out the door, when this little boy came over and pawed at my pant leg. I reached down and picked him up and he planted a gigantic kiss right on my nose.

Lotus aka Loti or Bubba chose me that day. And an era in our family began.

We had had Loti only a couple of days and he became very very sick. He had diarrhea every 30 mins to hour for about 12 hours. I stayed up with him that night praying he would make it through the morning. Jared had read that honey would help replenish lost nutrients, so we gave him honey. The next morning I brought him to the vet and he had a horrible parasite. The doctor said that if we would not have given him honey he would have died.

When he was baby he liked to wake up at 5:00am and eat breakfast and play. I, of course, got up with him and fed him and played with him until he was ready to go back to bed. To say that he was pampered, was an understatement. In fact, I fed Loti breakfast before dawn everyday until we started having "human" babies.

Lotus was a gigantic turd from the very beginning. He was ornery and into everything. We took him to an obedience training class when he was an itty bitty baby, too young to actually enroll the class, because he was such a turd.

When Loti was a couple of months old he started throwing up. We spent WAY TOO MUCH to say on vet bills his first year trying to figure out why he kept throwing up. Three vets and many tests later, we discovered that Loti was part Billy Goat.

One Glorious afternoon around 3:30 pm Loti went outstide to poop. I remember the time, because a school bus had just dropped some kids off close to our duplex. I watched him potty and his turd just kept going. I called the vet in a panic because Loti's turd was so long it was dragging the ground and still coming. She said "glove up" and help things along. So, I did. Loti pooped about 2 feet of string and wicker and Lord knows what else. Finally, a reason for the unexplained vomiting. Loti had had a partial obstruction for a good year or more that was causing the bad behavior and the vomiting.

After spending 8.5 years with Loti, I have come to the conclusion that Loti had some sort of mental condition that made him eat things. He wasn't your normal puppy, where they chew on shoes and gnaw on the couch. No - he would eat shoes and the couch.

We had to put the Toilet Paper high because he would eat it. He would literally eat EVERYTHING and he was obsessed about doing it - you couldn't turn your back on him for a second and he was eating something he shouldn't be.

When Loti was 6 months old, we gave him a sister - Lexus aka Lexi or Sister. They were the bestest of friends. ALWAYS beside each other.

As Loti grew older he developed a very laid back personality. He got excited when company came over or when we would come home - but he didn't let much get to him. He was always affectionate and kind to our babies, never a worry to leave them in the same room.

We've had to make many trips the emergency vet because of Loti eating things. One New Years he ate an entire bag of little Hershey Candy Bars. One day he got into an entire bag a dark chocolate chocolate chips. He's eaten probably 10 diapers at once. He had a liking for crayons. He has gotten into the garbage and ate who knows what. And this happened, over and over and over again.

Loti has been able to escape out our backyard because of unshut gates, but by the Grace of God - he always found some trash to get into, so he never got far. One time, while we were still on Wilshire - I was probably 8.5 months pregnant with Jet. Loti had snuck out the back yard and I freaked out. I found him a few houses down, gnawing on a chicken bone. I Praised the Lord for that chicken bone.

Recently Loit's health was going down hill. He had a few seizures and was on medication for that and had suffered a herniated disc. But he was doing well.

This past Saturday Morning Loti got into the trash. Really, we didn't think anything of it because this is what Loti did. He vomited much of the night on Saturday. On Sunday, I could tell something was wrong. I took him to vet first thing Monday morning. They opened him up and the vet said his intestines were a mess. It took 5 incisions to get everything out of his stomach. They didn't know if he would make it through recovery.

Tuesday Morning, the vet called and said he wasn't doing well. We went up to visit him. That afternoon I received a call from the vet. He said that we could come get him, not because he was better but because he wouldn't keep his IV in and there was nothing they could do.

I took him home and loved on him all night long. I told him what a good boy he was. I thanked him for his friendship and for the joy that he had brought to our home. I told him that I was sorry that the past few years he didn't get as many treats or walks as he deserved. And I promised him that if he would pull through, he would have an endless supply of treats and walks.

He made it through the night and he was looking better until yesterday afternoon. My heart told me something was wrong. He had lost his spark and the light in his little ornery eyes. I once again stayed up through the night giving him kisses and telling him what a good boy he was. I was laying on the floor with him and with no exaggeration tears started falling from his eyes. I told him that I loved him and I wouldn't let him suffer anymore.

We went into the vet this morning and the vet said that he had "something" (my brain turned off because I knew what it meant) all through his stomach. He said he could go back in and operate again and I tearfully shook my head. It was time. My dad came and got the kids and Jared and I stayed with him as he passed on. We then took his little body and buried him, thanking Jesus for the 8.5 years that we had with him.

To say that this day has been hard, would be an understatement.

We miss him terribly.

Rest in Peace Bubba we love you always.

yes, that is fruit snack wrapper hanging from his lip. :)