Today is Mother's Day and I thought to myself, "What a wonderful day to finish up this blog."
December 4, 2005 I became a mommy for the very 1st time. My first born is bright, goofy, hard headed, stubborn and amazingly handsome.
December 7, 2007 I became a mommy for the 2nd time. My second born is smart, quiet, kind, very affectionate and a little stubborn.
October 23, 2009 we welcomed our 3rd and final baby. She is beautiful in every way imaginable.
But those are only birthdays, my journey into motherhood started long ago. When asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, the answer was simple - "I want to be a mom." I remember on one of my first dates with Jared I said, "If this works out, I'm staying home with our kids. I don't care what the sacrifices will be, it is worth it." Motherhood is my calling.
My children have shaped me and molded me in ways I never thought imaginable.
Will has taught me how to be patient and self-controlled. He makes me laugh daily. I am beyond proud of the 7-year-old that he is. His future is bright and I know that God is going to use him in mighty ways.
I never really knew how much I wanted a little girl until the Ultrasound that revealed her gender. Anabella has taught me how faithful and good God is. She is witty, glamorous and at times a bit divaish. I see her growing up and being very kind. I also know that God is going to do great things through her as well.
And then there is Jet. This is where I want to put my focus on this final blog post.
Jet was born with special needs and I have spent the past 5.5 years fighting for him. Jet has very unique strengths and weaknesses and diagnosing him has been extremely difficult. Sure, he has been "diagnosed" with a million different things but nothing that explains why he has all those other diagnoses - if that makes sense.
Jared and I spent the better part of 2012 praying without ceasing that a miracle would happen in our son's life. We both desperately desire to hear his voice. That miracle has not yet happened but I belief that it will.
Being a mommy to Jet has taught me more than I can say on here. But what he has taught me most recently is that God wants us to be like Him.
The world would say and may see parenting a child with special needs as undesirable and miserably hard. I will admit that I have my days. But parenting Jet has been a wonderful experience of evolution and personal growth. I don't see a disability when I look at my son, I see a beautiful child that God has given me.
Jet is not like other children in many many ways, but who is to say that that is bad? After many prayer filled nights, I have found hope in the truth that God's plans are bigger and better than mine. In the past I have been fearful of Jet's future and what it might look like, but by the Grace of God I have over come that fear. God's plans for Jet are bigger and better than any plans that I may want for my son.
I think that our culture has misinterpreted the meaning of good. In Matthew 19:17 Jesus says that the only good one is God. Thus, I interpret that in meaning that being Good is being like God. Having Jet in our family has made all of us a little more like God... a little more kind, a little more understanding, a little more loving, a little more patient and the list goes on and on.
The world may say that having a child with special needs is bad, but I say it is quite the opposite.
I still pray for a complete healing in my son. I look forward to the day when he can tell the world what God has done for him. But until then, I will wait patiently and watch God move through my quiet son.
Confident of His Goodness,
Lela
