I bid thee adieu.

I have been thinking about how I would end this blog since last June, no joke.

Today is Mother's Day and I thought to myself, "What a wonderful day to finish up this blog."

December 4, 2005 I became a mommy for the very 1st time. My first born is bright, goofy, hard headed, stubborn and amazingly handsome.

December 7, 2007 I became a mommy for the 2nd time. My second born is smart, quiet, kind, very affectionate and a little stubborn.

October 23, 2009 we welcomed our 3rd and final baby. She is beautiful in every way imaginable.

But those are only birthdays, my journey into motherhood started long ago. When asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, the answer was simple - "I want to be a mom." I remember on one of my first dates with Jared I said, "If this works out, I'm staying home with our kids. I don't care what the sacrifices will be, it is worth it." Motherhood is my calling.

My children have shaped me and molded me in ways I never thought imaginable. 

Will has taught me how to be patient and self-controlled. He makes me laugh daily. I am beyond proud of the 7-year-old that he is. His future is bright and I know that God is going to use him in mighty ways.

I never really knew how much I wanted a little girl until the Ultrasound that revealed her gender. Anabella has taught me how faithful and good God is. She is witty, glamorous and at times a bit divaish. I see her growing up and being very kind. I also know that God is going to  do great things through her as well.

And then there is Jet. This is where I want to put my focus on this final blog post.

Jet was born with special needs and I have spent the past 5.5 years fighting for him. Jet has very unique strengths and weaknesses and diagnosing him has been extremely difficult. Sure, he has been "diagnosed" with a million different things but nothing that explains why he has all those other diagnoses - if that makes sense.

Jared and I spent the better part of 2012 praying without ceasing that a miracle would happen in our son's life. We both desperately desire to hear his voice. That miracle has not yet happened but I belief that it will.

Being a mommy to Jet has taught me more than I can say on here. But what he has taught me most recently is that God wants us to be like Him.

The world would say and may see parenting a child with special needs as undesirable and miserably hard. I will admit that I have my days. But parenting Jet has been a wonderful experience of evolution and personal growth. I don't see a disability when I look at my son, I see a beautiful child that God has given me.

Jet is not like other children in many many ways, but who is to say that that is bad? After many prayer filled nights, I have found hope in the truth that God's plans are bigger and better than mine. In the past I have been fearful of Jet's future and what it might look like, but by the Grace of God I have over come that fear. God's plans for Jet are bigger and better than any plans that I may want for my son.

I think that our culture has misinterpreted the meaning of good. In Matthew 19:17 Jesus says that the only good one is God. Thus, I interpret that in meaning that being Good is being like God. Having Jet in our family has made all of us a little more like God... a little more kind, a little more understanding, a little more loving, a little more patient and the list goes on and on.

The world may say that having a child with special needs is bad, but I say it is quite the opposite. 

I still pray for a complete healing in my son. I look forward to the day when he can tell the world what God has done for him. But until then, I will wait patiently and watch God move through my quiet son.

Confident of His Goodness,
Lela

Believe it or not but I have spent the past 7 months working up the courage to finish up my blog.

This will be my second to last post. I started this blog to do a couple of things... #1. Share our story and #2. Therapy.

And then I discovered Pinterest, no joke. When I have free time, I go to Pinterest and I think my husband appreciates it because our dinners have greatly evolved.

Before I shut this baby down, I think I should update everybody on our homeschool adventure and just some big events that have happened in the past 7 months. Several of you have asked how things are going. I'm going to do this now, because my last post is going to be - well... different.

First and foremost, Homeschooling is not at all what I thought it would be and everything that I thought it would be.

It has been very difficult for me juggling all of my responsibilities. I'm not even going to lie, several weeks I called Hoover in a moment of "I can't do this...". After some encouraging words from my wise Mama, I gave it another go and have been happy with this decision.

Jet loves school. He can't get enough. He is very easy to teach. I am so proud of him.

Will on the other hand, is the exact opposite of Jet. I think that has been the hardest part. However, I think we are finally on a schedule that is making both of us happy.

I am 95% sure we will be homeschooling next year, still praying about it. I will be changing up some of my curriculum. I have also learned that I have pushed my little first grader a little too hard this year, we will be done with almost all of his curriculum by April.... so - yeah - that was one of our biggest problems this year. Poor Will.... An over-achiever, perfectionist Mom would drive any 7-year-old boy crazy. I'm working on it...

Jet had some testing done back in August. He has officially been diagnosed with a learning disorder as well as a speech disorder. It doesn't really mean anything. He has progressed in pretty much all areas, except for speech - forward motion (no matter how slow) is always a blessing.

Back in October, my mom was diagnosed with another brain tumor (I have honest-to-goodness lost count on how many brain operations she has had) and a spinal tumor as well as many many cysts on her spine. God gave us an amazing Brain surgeon. He did an incredible job for mom. Mom also went through very extensive radiation therapy, for the very first time. She goes in for an MRI in March, to see how everything looks.  I adore my mom and dad. They are both so strong and determined. They have always been good parents... but watching them walk through this journey over the past 8 years has been heartbreakingly painful and breathtakingly beautiful all at the same time. Mom and Dad, thank you for being parents that I can be proud of. Thank you for showing me what True Love looks like.

Shortly after Mom was diagnosed with the new tumors I decided to pull Jet out of all his traditional therapies. Something that probably doesn't make sense to some people. But it was something that I needed to do. We have spent all 5-years of his life focusing on things that he can't do. I started losing focus on what an amazing child God had given me. For the past 5-years we have ben in-and-out of so many therapy sessions... truly unbelievable. So much time and money spent, and to see very little forward progress, it just becomes heart wrenching. So I told all of his therapists, "we are taking a break". They all supported my decision. But most importantly, I had peace about it and knew it was a good thing. Jet is in therapeutic horseback riding and he LOVES it. He is also in gymnastics and is doing great. We go here in a couple of weeks to OKC to have some more testing done. After that is done, I will start thinking about what therapies I want him back in.

Will starts soccer and machine-pitch baseball here in just a few weeks. My sweet little Ani Lee is just as precious as she ever was. Jared is "reinventing" himself. He has some pretty sweet hair going on and has been spending a lot of time on his music playing. I just love him so much.

Never a dull moment, always busy, blessed beyond measure, and trying not to OD on caffeine - my life  in a nutshell.

Confident of His Goodness,

Lela