I bid thee adieu.

I have been thinking about how I would end this blog since last June, no joke.

Today is Mother's Day and I thought to myself, "What a wonderful day to finish up this blog."

December 4, 2005 I became a mommy for the very 1st time. My first born is bright, goofy, hard headed, stubborn and amazingly handsome.

December 7, 2007 I became a mommy for the 2nd time. My second born is smart, quiet, kind, very affectionate and a little stubborn.

October 23, 2009 we welcomed our 3rd and final baby. She is beautiful in every way imaginable.

But those are only birthdays, my journey into motherhood started long ago. When asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, the answer was simple - "I want to be a mom." I remember on one of my first dates with Jared I said, "If this works out, I'm staying home with our kids. I don't care what the sacrifices will be, it is worth it." Motherhood is my calling.

My children have shaped me and molded me in ways I never thought imaginable. 

Will has taught me how to be patient and self-controlled. He makes me laugh daily. I am beyond proud of the 7-year-old that he is. His future is bright and I know that God is going to use him in mighty ways.

I never really knew how much I wanted a little girl until the Ultrasound that revealed her gender. Anabella has taught me how faithful and good God is. She is witty, glamorous and at times a bit divaish. I see her growing up and being very kind. I also know that God is going to  do great things through her as well.

And then there is Jet. This is where I want to put my focus on this final blog post.

Jet was born with special needs and I have spent the past 5.5 years fighting for him. Jet has very unique strengths and weaknesses and diagnosing him has been extremely difficult. Sure, he has been "diagnosed" with a million different things but nothing that explains why he has all those other diagnoses - if that makes sense.

Jared and I spent the better part of 2012 praying without ceasing that a miracle would happen in our son's life. We both desperately desire to hear his voice. That miracle has not yet happened but I belief that it will.

Being a mommy to Jet has taught me more than I can say on here. But what he has taught me most recently is that God wants us to be like Him.

The world would say and may see parenting a child with special needs as undesirable and miserably hard. I will admit that I have my days. But parenting Jet has been a wonderful experience of evolution and personal growth. I don't see a disability when I look at my son, I see a beautiful child that God has given me.

Jet is not like other children in many many ways, but who is to say that that is bad? After many prayer filled nights, I have found hope in the truth that God's plans are bigger and better than mine. In the past I have been fearful of Jet's future and what it might look like, but by the Grace of God I have over come that fear. God's plans for Jet are bigger and better than any plans that I may want for my son.

I think that our culture has misinterpreted the meaning of good. In Matthew 19:17 Jesus says that the only good one is God. Thus, I interpret that in meaning that being Good is being like God. Having Jet in our family has made all of us a little more like God... a little more kind, a little more understanding, a little more loving, a little more patient and the list goes on and on.

The world may say that having a child with special needs is bad, but I say it is quite the opposite. 

I still pray for a complete healing in my son. I look forward to the day when he can tell the world what God has done for him. But until then, I will wait patiently and watch God move through my quiet son.

Confident of His Goodness,
Lela

Believe it or not but I have spent the past 7 months working up the courage to finish up my blog.

This will be my second to last post. I started this blog to do a couple of things... #1. Share our story and #2. Therapy.

And then I discovered Pinterest, no joke. When I have free time, I go to Pinterest and I think my husband appreciates it because our dinners have greatly evolved.

Before I shut this baby down, I think I should update everybody on our homeschool adventure and just some big events that have happened in the past 7 months. Several of you have asked how things are going. I'm going to do this now, because my last post is going to be - well... different.

First and foremost, Homeschooling is not at all what I thought it would be and everything that I thought it would be.

It has been very difficult for me juggling all of my responsibilities. I'm not even going to lie, several weeks I called Hoover in a moment of "I can't do this...". After some encouraging words from my wise Mama, I gave it another go and have been happy with this decision.

Jet loves school. He can't get enough. He is very easy to teach. I am so proud of him.

Will on the other hand, is the exact opposite of Jet. I think that has been the hardest part. However, I think we are finally on a schedule that is making both of us happy.

I am 95% sure we will be homeschooling next year, still praying about it. I will be changing up some of my curriculum. I have also learned that I have pushed my little first grader a little too hard this year, we will be done with almost all of his curriculum by April.... so - yeah - that was one of our biggest problems this year. Poor Will.... An over-achiever, perfectionist Mom would drive any 7-year-old boy crazy. I'm working on it...

Jet had some testing done back in August. He has officially been diagnosed with a learning disorder as well as a speech disorder. It doesn't really mean anything. He has progressed in pretty much all areas, except for speech - forward motion (no matter how slow) is always a blessing.

Back in October, my mom was diagnosed with another brain tumor (I have honest-to-goodness lost count on how many brain operations she has had) and a spinal tumor as well as many many cysts on her spine. God gave us an amazing Brain surgeon. He did an incredible job for mom. Mom also went through very extensive radiation therapy, for the very first time. She goes in for an MRI in March, to see how everything looks.  I adore my mom and dad. They are both so strong and determined. They have always been good parents... but watching them walk through this journey over the past 8 years has been heartbreakingly painful and breathtakingly beautiful all at the same time. Mom and Dad, thank you for being parents that I can be proud of. Thank you for showing me what True Love looks like.

Shortly after Mom was diagnosed with the new tumors I decided to pull Jet out of all his traditional therapies. Something that probably doesn't make sense to some people. But it was something that I needed to do. We have spent all 5-years of his life focusing on things that he can't do. I started losing focus on what an amazing child God had given me. For the past 5-years we have ben in-and-out of so many therapy sessions... truly unbelievable. So much time and money spent, and to see very little forward progress, it just becomes heart wrenching. So I told all of his therapists, "we are taking a break". They all supported my decision. But most importantly, I had peace about it and knew it was a good thing. Jet is in therapeutic horseback riding and he LOVES it. He is also in gymnastics and is doing great. We go here in a couple of weeks to OKC to have some more testing done. After that is done, I will start thinking about what therapies I want him back in.

Will starts soccer and machine-pitch baseball here in just a few weeks. My sweet little Ani Lee is just as precious as she ever was. Jared is "reinventing" himself. He has some pretty sweet hair going on and has been spending a lot of time on his music playing. I just love him so much.

Never a dull moment, always busy, blessed beyond measure, and trying not to OD on caffeine - my life  in a nutshell.

Confident of His Goodness,

Lela

Good Summer.

We had a great summer and were so busy - doing nothing - that I didn't take any time to blog.


Jared and I traveled out of the country to Cancun for our 10-year-anniversary. We had the time of our lives. Our wonderful parents watched all 5 of our kiddos so we could take a very much needed breath of fresh air.

Our good friends Doug and Christina were also celebrating their 10 year and traveled down to Mexico too. Doug and Christina were our duplex buddies at OSU. The trip reminded us so much of, the good 'ole days. Thanks friends for such a good time!!!

And honest to goodness, I don't think we did anything else. It was a great summer.

So now here we are, starting a new journey.... Homeschooling.

We started our school year on the 13th and now have 2 weeks under our belt.

Red Day - First Day of School - Will, 1st Grade & Jet, PK
Not sure what in the world Will is doing, but Spike looks really cute in this picture

Anabella's hair is doing it's own thing - we didn't cut it.

So far, So good. We are all having a really good time and I think all 3 of them are learning a lot. A quote from Will, "You know one of the best things about homeschool mom?" "No Will what?" "We're never late." 

Confident of His Goodness,

Lela

I do.... Again.

10 years ago today as I stood next to two of the best friends that a girl could ask for, Kaitlin Jones and Kari Vermeire and in front of my God and all of my friends and family I said "I Do" to an amazing man.

 My Dad and Mom and Jared's Mom and Dad

 Kaitlin Jones, Kari Vermeire, Tyson Hodges, Brandon Patton, Jason Ryker, and Corbin Anderson

The Beginning of the Rest of Our Lives.

On our way to our Honey in Cincinnati.

First I have to start with this. If you recall from earlier posts, I have mentioned loving a good celebration. My husband has given me that this week and my heart has melted every day. On Monday he treated me to favorite take out, Ocean China and I ate while watching my favorite show The Bachelorette with one my favorite people (my cousin Amanda). On Tuesday for the first time EVER, he sent me favorite flowers and a throw back to our wedding, Tulips. I literally bawled. I called him to thank him and couldn't even talk. Wednesday we danced in our backyard to a song that was sung at our wedding, Thank You for Loving Me by Bon Jovi. I cried and cried. On Thursday after watering the flowers I came in the kitchen and he had made me the punch that was served at our reception. And today, he had planned a dinner at Ruby Tuesday - the first restaurant that we ate on our honeymoon.

I have tears in my eyes as I write this because I have NEVER EVER felt more loved or appreciated or adored!! Jared, thank you for making this a big deal. Thank you for being so thoughtful and putting so much time and energy in making our 10 year anniversary one of the most special times in our marriage. I am a lucky girl.

I'd be lying if I said that we had the perfect marriage and never fought and everything is always great. We've had our ups and downs like every other couple. However, one thing that I have learned as of very recently is that the grass isn't greener on the other side, the grass is greener where it is fertilized and watered.

Jared, I say "I Do" again to everything that Life has brought us in the past 10 years....

Worry and fret over that final Spanish Exam in college, Late night laughs with the Glenns, Grief over our old lady landlord, "No Butts about it" job search, Graduating College, OSU football and basketball games, The adoption of our first furry children and the heart break over burying one of them, Our first house and our Second house, 3 C-Sections, Moments of fear and depression when life just seemed to be unraveling, Setting huge fires with the Crouchs, Late night games with the Stewarts, Wearing out our recliner with our first born, The joys and the pain of raising a child with special needs, Hilarious Karaoke Parties, the birth of the sweetest little girl that ever was and so many more memories.

Deciding on OSU Football tickets... Decisions, Decisions....

My OSU Graduation - That's right, I graduated with Honors. :)

Will and Jared's spot from 5:30 till 10:00 at night for the good part of a year. 

Me and One of the Greatest Blessings that has come in my 10 years of marriage, Jet.

Baby Anabella, A Constant Reminder of how Faithful my God is.

You have been my rock, my best friend, my constant companion, my everything.

I still look at you with disbelief that you're mine. You are just so darn good looking!!! I consider it pure Favor from a God that loves me very much that I have you in my life. 10 years ago I knew that you were amazing but I had no idea how madly in love with you I would be 10 years later. There are good dads out there, but none as good as you and there are good husbands out there, but none as good as you.

Thank you for making all of my dreams come true and Thank you for loving me.

Happy 10 Year!!!! Here's to another 50!

I love you!!!

Confident of His Goodness,
Your Wife

For my Mama.

Proverbs 31:31

"Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her good works bring her praise at the city gates."

2000

First Church of the Nazarene High School Graduation Party

I wanted to be just like her growing up...

I would watch her write notes and be so mesmerized by her penmanship. She had such beautiful handwriting. I remember being around 5-years-old and someone had asked me what I wanted to be like when I grew up and I distantly remember saying, "I want to learn how to write cursive and write it fast." 

I would follow her around the house. It was just her and I at home. She was a stay-at-home mom until I was in the 6th grade. I just carried my toys from room to room.  I just loved being in her presence. 

She always wore perfumed lotion. So, everything in the house smelled like her. All of her clothes and the sheets. I loved that.

She was and still is such a warm spirit. She is so kind, patient and gentle. I don't think I have one memory of her yelling at me. I'm sure she did, but I don't ever remember her doing it. I do remember her chasing me around the house with a hair brush. I'm sure I deserved it. 

I have also had the privilege of seeing my mom fight. Not in a bar or in a boxing ring. But I have seen her fight for her life. And let me make something very clear, she is not a quitter.

In the summer of my 5th grade year, I watched her fade in-and-out of consciousness. She was admitted to the ER with a brain tumor and she fought for her life. She was much more close to death than any one of us wanted to admit. She had "most" of the brain tumor removed and had a miraculous recovery.

When I was about 3 months pregnant with Will, her fight continued. Because the doctor wasn't able to remove all of the brain tumor, it had grown back. She faced a second brain surgery, only this one was a lot more complicated. No one in this state wanted to operate, so we made the trip to LittleRock Arkansas. Her second brain surgery went fine, but complication after complication seemed to arise.

After one of her brain surgeries, Will was somewhere around 18 months at this time, the surgeon came to tell us that she had hemorrhaged during the operation and they didn't know if she was going to make it. They needed to go back in and stop the bleeding. They wheeled her out of the elevator so that my dad and I could see the state that she was in. It was unbearable. I melted.  Of course, my dad said - "Do whatever you need to do."

My dad and I found the chapel and we prayed. I remember my dad saying, "This might be her time." And I said, "NO!!!!" "No it is not her time. I need her too much. I need her to be my babies nana. I need her." And you know what, she made it through.

7-years later, a back surgery and too many brain surgies to count she is still fighting. The road has been long, especially for her. She has had to fight really hard. But once again, she hasn't quit. 

Through the good times and the bad times my mom has given me an amazing example to follow. A woman that at 30-years-old I am still trying to imitate.

Mom, I am so proud of you and I am so thankful to spend another Mother's Day with you. I love you so much!!!!

Confident of His Goodness,

Lela

Finally... I can tell everybody.

After months and months of serious prayer and Jared listening patiently to my endless ramblings, we have decided to homeschool. It may be for a year or it may be until they graduate. I'm sure we'll take it year by year.

All of my curriculum for Will and Jet is bought. I have officially withdrawn both boys from school. Within the next couple of weeks I will start lesson planning.

For those of you that are interested, I'll discuss what curriculum I chose in another post.

But for now, for those of you who think I have lost my mind, I'll list my top ten reasons for homeschooling.

#10. As mentioned in my previous post, my kids are growing up so fast. The years that I have them at home are so short and I truly want to suck in every minute that I can.

#9. Jet would continue to be in Special Ed next year. I have nothing against Special Education and thus far our experience has been really really good. However, I do not want Jet to be 'labeled' Special Ed. I feel that it would a self-fulfilling prophecy.

#8. I have an invested interest in my children's future, obviously. It is important to me that they have an amazing education. I want to know what they're learning, what they're struggling in, what courses we can advance in and places that may need review. I won't have to wait for a parent-teacher conferences to know exactly how they are doing.

#7. The past 2 years have been hairy-scary around my house. Poor Anabella has grown up in her carseat. I am averaging 200 driving miles per week and it was even more when we were going to therapy everyday. I am honest to goodness sick and tired of the daily grind.  I am really excited to have fun with my kids. We are going to go on a field trip once a week and I am so looking forward to making those memories with them.

#6. Freedom. We will actually have total control over our schedule. We don't have to be some where everyday at a certain time. We can go on vacation in September. We can live in tin-buk-tu if we wanted to.

#5. When you homeschool you get to decide what you study. That is one of the things that I am most excited about for Will. For science, we are going to study Zoology. For music, Jared is going to teach him guitar. My curriculum is very eclectic, so I can learn how he learns best. At this young age, I want Will to be excited about learning. I think that in and of itself will take him a long ways.
  
#4. I think that there is eternal value in homeschooling. All of my curriculum is faith based. We will be doing scripture memorization. As their parent, I will ensure that they have solid foundation in scripture. Proverbs 22:6 - Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.

#3. Right now, we really only get to see Will for a couple of hours a day during the week. And during those hours, everybody is tired. We've ran here and there and Will has worked his tail off at school. I am excited to be giving my best to my kids, not my leftovers.

#2. I asked Will why he wanted to be home schooled. He put it best... "I want to spend time with my family. I like my brother and my sister."

#1. This is something that I have felt a prompting from the Holy Spirit to do. We as a family have said "yes" to that still, small and quiet voice (1 Kings 19:12).

So there you have it. Now everybody knows my little secret. Here's to a new adventure.

Confident of His Goodness,
Lela

Get out your flyswatter.

My 6-Year-Old is turning into a man. :(

He lost his first tooth.

The tooth fairy brought him a $2.00 bill. Will said she did that because she is the Twoth Fairy.

He has learned to ride his bike without training wheels.

And he has learned to fart with his armpit (and he does it constantly). I told him he at least needs to put some sort of rhythm to it or something. So, he made up a song about farting, pooping and peeing. The mind of a 6-year-old is so complex.

I'm pretty sure my 2-year-old is cussing. She says, "D*** it." I have no idea where she learned it. We honest to goodness don't say words like that. They don't watch shows that have naughty words in it. It's actually really funny. I have to tell myself not to laugh.

And my sweet 4-year-old is just doing amazing. His gross motor is improving so much. He LOVES soccer now. He goes on the field by himself and smiles and laughs. I'm so very proud of him and am loving watching God move in his little body.

We just celebrated Jared's 31st birthday. It's hard to believe that I've loved him since he was 16. Oh my... time flies.

Confident of His Goodness,
Lela